When Poker Becomes Personal
In recent years, I've observed a noticeable pattern among my poker coaching clients. Most of them are individuals who have read The Mental Game of Poker to find guidance on managing tilt, overcoming fears, enhancing motivation, and boosting confidence, yet they haven't experienced the level of improvement they desired. For example, while the book may have helped reduce instances of Mistake Tilt, they still find themselves tilting more often than they would like. I label this dilemma as the moment when poker begins to feel personal. So, how can we identify and rectify this?
For many players, this poker strategy The book helped players recognize issues that they were previously unaware were influencing their gameplay. Additionally, it provided them with the principles and strategies I utilize to address the most prevalent mental challenges in poker. However, this also meant that each player had to accurately pinpoint the root cause of their issues and identify the appropriate solutions. If they misidentify these, while they may still see some progress, the complete resolution of problems becomes increasingly unlikely.
In the video I’ve shared below, I discuss various pitfalls in poker and introduce strategies that can assist you in managing and overcoming these challenges.
Utilize an Effective Poker Strategy to Tackle Challenges
Getting the right approach can be tough, even for someone like me after a decade of this work. Some players struggle got it wrong even when they possess a solid poker strategy, simply because they fail to implement it consistently.
Others may lack crucial insights, such as recognizing that their difficulty with motivation stems from an underlying issue with tilt.
Consequently, they apply poker training strategies to address their motivational problem In many cases, players are on the path to improvement, yet they remain unaware that poker has revealed deeper, more personal challenges.
Poker Tables Reveal Everything
As individuals, we exist first as human beings and then as poker players. When you harbor unresolved personal issues, they can appear during poker sessions, including frustrations you might not even recognize as a problem. For many, poker serves as a unique challenge that brings to light their innermost beliefs and conflicts. Here are some general examples:
- As a child, you despised losing at any endeavor. Despite losing no longer destroys the fact that your perspective has evolved, the feeling of defeat still looms large.
- Many aspects of school and your activities came to you easily, requiring little effort to maintain a position among the top performers. Presently, you're struggling to muster the drive necessary to put in thetime and effort needed to evolve into the player you believe you could be.
- Your parents placed significant expectations upon you, which created immense pressure to succeed. Even though you have achieved success in poker and other areas of life, your constant anxiety about failing leads to a tendency to play too conservatively with your bankroll and game selection.
- If you experienced bullying or teasing as a child, you might now find it challenging to handle aggressive opponents at the table. This could manifest as either retaliating with unwarranted hostility or becoming excessively tight and passive.
- As a child, you dreamed of wealth, global travel, and fame. Now, the urgency for immediate results may drive you to take rash actions at the tables, increasing stakes too quickly and becoming overconfident during winning streaks.
The Intense Pressure of Poker: What Really Drives You?
Investing such a substantial amount of time, energy, money, and personal identity into poker will inevitably expose hidden issues over time. This may not happen immediately, but when faced with significant losses, downswings, or moving up in stakes where the stakes feel particularly pivotal, or when committing to the game more seriously, the pressure intensifies and reveals deeper-seated problems. A critical piece of advice for both novice and experienced players in reaching their goals may simply be to work through these personal issues.
A straightforward way to identify deeper issues beyond poker is to observe their occurrences in other areas of your life. If you find yourself easily irritated while driving, getting angry over minor setbacks, and then experiencing tilt at the tables, it's likely a sign of a broader anger management issue. The same principle applies to challenges with fear, motivation, and self-confidence. Pay attention to how these problems manifest in poker, and then investigate if they emerge elsewhere. Here are a few additional examples: aspects of your life Do you frequently postpone your studies of hand histories as advised by numerous poker strategy resources while also missing important work deadlines?
- Do you continually switch formats whenever you encounter difficulties—jumping from cash games to SNGs to MTTs, for instance—and struggle to finish projects?
- Are you prone to disparaging your fellow players in chat rooms and often find yourself embroiled in heated disputes with friends or family?
- Do you face difficulties making poker decisions, and find indecisiveness creeping into other areas of your life?
- Keep a Record of Significant Personal Challenges
Avoid the Ostrich Approach in Poker: Acknowledge Your Challenges
Are you having trouble making decisions in poker?
Numerous valuable resources are available, including excellent books and video poker strategy guides to refer to. I've received feedback from many readers who successfully addressed some of their personal challenges using my poker strategy guide - the poker coaches An essential aspect of the mental game involves clearing your mind.
Be realistic about what changes you require for your advancement, and avoid ignoring your issues. Mental Game of Poker What Does it Truly Require to Gain Greater Insight into Your Poker Game?
It's paramount to ensure that you're not using physical activities like exercise, meditation, or yoga as a means to evade deeper issues. I'm not implying that these practices are detrimental; however, they won't resolve an anger issue, for instance. If you rely on them to maintain your composure or relieve stress and would struggle without them, then it likely indicates there's an underlying issue that requires attention. A similar pattern can occur in poker, where a player resorts to quitting as a coping mechanism for tilt. Here’s a
Assisting players in addressing their personal challenges is especially important to me. While impacting someone's poker career is rewarding, witnessing the positive effects extend to their relationships, health, and self-esteem is on another level. Poker often carries a negative connotation, even among players. I perceive it differently—as a vehicle for personal development. The inherent volatility of poker can be challenging, but it reveals what truly matters to us and provides avenues for significant growth. Achieving progress as both a player and an individual creates deeper value that transcends mere financial gains. poker tip for tilting players Jared Tendler, MS, LMHC, is a licensed therapist with a specialization in sports psychology, recognized as a leading expert in poker's mental game. Over nearly ten years of coaching poker players, he has collaborated with over 500 individuals from more than 45 different countries, including many of the game's elite players. Additionally, he has authored two bestselling titles on the topic, The Mental Game of Poker 1 and 2 [add link to our book review section].
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